That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
