how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
