Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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