I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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