U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
