I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
