Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
