that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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