I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
