There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This is my gift to your gina
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
