So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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