smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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