I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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