i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
