i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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