Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
