the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
