first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
