If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
