Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
