just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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