all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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