Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
