its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
