Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
