then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
