i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
