you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
