just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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