never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
