I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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