but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
