So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
