Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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