TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
