i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize