awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
