She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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