she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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