So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
