i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
