party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
