I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
