It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
