Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize