I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
