New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
