What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
