we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
