I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
