think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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