ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
