I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
