i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
