This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You're like the curious george of whores
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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