You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
