Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
