dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
