So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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