you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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