Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
