No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
