suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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