Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
